Hatters: What Are They? 2#

What Are Hatters Research Log 2
9/23/16

Hullo humanoids. Recently I discovered that Hatters have eyes. Two of them in fact. They reside on her face, one on either side of the nose. They look similar to the eyes of a human except much more brown in colour.

I'll report back next week with another update.

Hatters: What Are They? 1#

Hullo humanoids. So you all know my partner in the monster hunting business, Adrianna. Now she belongs to the species called Hatters and very little is known about them. As far as we know she is the last of  her kind. Due to this I believe we should study Adrianna and learn more about her kind before they go extinct so that history may have record of them. Therefore I shall watch and learn my partner's behaviors so we may know more about this brilliant species so they will not be forgotten. I will post my findings here for you all to read. The Hatter species will not be forgotten when Death claims Adrianna for his own. 

The first thing I discovered while studying the last Hatter was that she is humanoid in figure. She has the same limbs as humans in the same locations. At the moment this is all that I have learned. I hope to learn more soon. There shall be another update next week. 

Tree's First Log: Tree and the Brickson Goodwill.

Hello peasants. . . . good people. I am Tree, I’ve kinda been floating around for a while now. I’ve been trying my best to get in the group and become a true monster hunter. Ryder and Adri have been taking this a little too far and making me go get their coffee and snacks. When I finally told them to put me on a mission they sent me undercover to spy on Brickson. I was Brickson's baker. 

Becoming Brickson's Baker didn’t make Maxwell very happy. (Maxwell was Brickson's right hand man and main baker) Maxwell tried to hate me but ended up falling in love with me. What can I say I’m lovable. When Ryder and Adri decided it was time to take Maxwell out and lock him up I pleaded that they make him comfortable. So we built a nice prison without anyone else but him. 

Sadly Ryder and Adri didn’t want Maxwell baking anymore. So I snuck some baking stuff to Maxwell so he can be happy. Although they cursed him to look like a glob of slime. *shrugs*

After Maxwell Brickson was getting suspicious of me. So I captured him and sent him away to prison.

    . . . .

   

    But when I was telling the driver where to take Brickson (the driver's name is Will) I told Will he was good. And he thought I told him to take Brickson to Goodwill.. .  . . ..

    Now Brickson has taken over Goodwill and is planning his attack!!!

    But oh wells. Bye peasan- Good people. 

 

 (^^ Brickson, if seen please return to the Monster Hunter Offices.)

Snooze You Lose (When Your Partners Kill All the Penguins)

Log: 6132016

Hunter: Adrianna

NOTE: this log was written as log 6132016 but was not posted until now for the following reason: The CIA was hot on our trail for the "penguin incident" and we weren't allowed to say anything on the matter until some things blew over. Anyhow Here's the adventure:

So one morning I wake up and turn on the news. "Something strange happened just last night" the reporter says. "Almost every single Penguin in the world has gone missing."

I spit out my morning chocolate milk and sit up straight. Obviously something was very wrong, at first I thought that maybe a monster came and stole the penguins. Or even maybe it had something to do with Brickson.

So I jump up and go to HQ in the Because Reasons. And on the main spy screen I see Tree. Talking to, of all people- our arch nemesis: Brickson. Ryder, leaning back casually in her chair with a bag of goldfish seemed pretty confident in what was going on.

So I watch the screen, ready to jump into a mini ship and fly off to help if need be and I hear something that really confuses me.

"So it's a deal?"
"Yes. I'll join you."

I see my friend and partner shake hands with our arch enemy.

I stare in disbelief. "What..? But Tree is with us!"

Ryder leans back and looks up at me. "Uh, yeah, of course."

"B-but then why...?"

"Morning, Adri"

I turn around and see Tree, standing there with a cup of coffee.
                                                         . . . .


I was later informed that Tree had gone undercover to talk to Brickson, after pretending to kill off all the penguins in the world by first turning them invisible. Making the only visible penguins, the magical ones (like Brickson)


But what I really learned that day was: You Snooze, You Lose.

And my partners are crazy weridos whom I love

In Which Someone Loses a Leg

Log #542016
Hunter: Ryder Eclipse

Okay so in our previous log Adrianna mentioned our stalker friend Tree and her apprentice Paul. Who we now know to both be lovely people. Well Paul is at least. But one time we weren't so sure about Paul's loyalty to us. You see, he lives in a tree outside of Adrianna's house and he kinda spies on my partner. Since he only seemed to stalk Adrianna we grew suspicious of his claims of being Tree's apprentice. So we decided to find out for sure if he worked for Tree or not.

Now, how do you test a stalker to see if they're really on your side or not? You hire him. Then if he's being paid to work for you he must be totally loyal. We didn't really know what to have him stalk though so we sent him to go stalk a polar bear. That really didn't go well though. He kinda got his leg eaten. But hey! At least we knew for sure that he was our friend's apprentice now!

This is Tree

Tree wasn't particularly happy about the fact that her apprentice now only had one leg. Tree didn't seem to understand that we all did it to test her apprentice to make sure he was worthy of being her apprentice. She actually ran me over in a bus. Which honestly wasn't the most comfortable thing to happen to me. Don't worry I'm perfectly fine though. No serious injuries from the whole bus thing. And now that some time as passed since the Paul incident she's seemed  to have forgotten about it. Although I'm sure that when she reads this log I'll be hit by a bus again. Tree it was totally Adrianna's idea, not mine at all!

But anyways, I should probably wrap up this log. Sorry for the lack of hunting updates recently. We can get kinda lazy about the whole monster hunting thing sometimes. But hopefully more of our adventures will be written down soon. Farewell, hunters in training. Have a lovely day!

Inroducing: Some other Companions!

Adventure Log #4112016
Hunter: Adrianna

Greetings Hunters. Yes, I am alive. Thank you for your concern, the zombie cats now have a nice home in Because Reasons, our spaceship. 

It's rather large and we have a good amount of new friends to accompany us on our adventures.

Like Foo, our little white bunny with laser vision and JPK our JetPack Kitten.





There's also Joe: our tech guy. He has a robo arm now. But that's because an accidental explosion and Tree.

(Art credit goes to Ryder)

Tree is our stalker, and best friend. Whether she is an official "Hunter" or not is to be determined. Paul is her apprentice. But he lost a leg after getting attacked by a polar bear when we tried to hire him.   (That may or may not have been my fault. But I blame lack of sleep and bad decision making. Plus he was suspicious and I didn't know the polar bear was hungry.)

We also have Imi, a new nice monster in the group. The Invisible Monster of Invisibleness. He's really shy for an invisible monster. Loves bedtime stories and pizza.

I'm sure some of you remember Buffer and Spiky.  Buffer has been here for a while.  Actually, soon I shall post his full story for all of you.

There are certainly more adventures to be had and recorded. Us Hunters have been a bit preoccupied. But The Because Reasons is up and running and maybe soon we'll find the whereabouts of Brickson.

Oh! And here's a picture of Me, Ryder, and Tree as bunnies.

Art credit goes to Ryder

Until next time Hunters!

Zombie Cats

Adventure Log #3292016
Hunter: Ryder Eclipse

So zombie cats. They're a rather interesting form of zombie. Rather cat like. Probably because these undead creatures were once cats.

Now I had happened across some cats that had the misfortune of being turned into zombies. I did the logical thing when I found these cats and threw them at my friends. Because what else would you possibly do with zombie cats? So Adrianna got a zombie cat to the face. And she did what any lovably adorable hunter would do and hugged it. The zombie cat ate her. And that was the end of Hunter Adrianna. The Hatter was dead. No more adventures with the hyper stegosaurus (how she's a stegosaurus is complicated).

..........

You really think a hunter like Hatter Adrianna could die that easily? Wow you have such little faith in our amazing abilities. I gave her a dose of dolphine (it cures being eaten somehow) and she was back to being okay! Then I threw another zombie cat at her. Because I'm such a nice friend.

Adrianna befriended this zombie cat but it still bit her because it's a zombie. That's what zombies do. Adrianna put her zombie cat friend in a play friend where it played tag with our quacking rabbit, Foo (you'll learn more about her in a later log).

Now as it so happens that if you're bitten by a zombie cat you become a zombie cat. So I stood on a tall thing to keep from being eaten by the now zombified Adrianna, who happens to be rather short hence the reason why I stood on a tall thing.

Adrianna thankfully wasn't fully zombified yet so she got herself some dolphine (it cures zombiness too) and she went back to being her normal stegosaurus self. I climbed off of the tall thing and we hugged. The end.

(Sorry guys for the lack of posts recently. Things have been hard for the fabulous hunter partners. But hopefully you'll start getting kinda weekly posts again! Unless we forget. Which could possibly happen. But this blog is not dead! It may be undead though. I'm not sure. Probably not unless a zombie cat bit it.)

History of The Monster Hunters

Adventure Log 2172016
Hunter: Adrianna

Guest Illustrator: Cara Cooper. With a picture of Because Reasons

So, this is still a fairly new Chronicle (B)log. And I thought for all those stalking us (or if anything for future Hunters scouting these logs for info) we should document some more of our history.

I met my partner, Ryder, when I was given an invitation to a secret group. Now I only scarcely knew the members at that point. And we had only had one video conference before, (to celebrate the six month anniversary of a larger less secret group we were all a part of)

The members I knew at that time consisted of: A Psychic Horseman, an eye-patch-wearing narrator ( who turned out to be Death), A very human looking Jelly Bean, and many others who turned out to be even less normal than I had thought.

One of these people was a known Killer. Notorious for using poison, kidnapping, and running around in unicorn form throwing Skittles at people. At that time I didn't think she would be the best option for a partner.

We were in many adventures together in this group of weird people determined to take over the world. We found Popcorn to be a manipulative liar, cheater, and serial killer in one dramatic turn of events. One time a friend in the group was killed and turned into a ghost (who still stalks us now and then. And don't worry she's fine). Ryder was a suspect in that case. I was as well, but I was also going by as a detective.

We all developed many many names, as to confuse anyone who tried to find our plans of world domination. But as most of that is Confidential, and this blog is for the Monster Hunters, we'll move on.


It was right around the time I started looking for Brickson (back when he went by the name Backson). Ryder, who was a friend at the time, was talking about an immortal she knew. He was interesting, had a whole crew of space pirates and even owned a bunch of immortal cats.  I knew that he, if anyone, might know something of the whereabouts of my nemesis. Considering Immortals usually stay in touch and at that point, I had a hunch that Brickson was also immortal because his schemes of bad luck stretched all through time.

Ryder finally arranged for me to meet up with him after I told her how important it was. I entered the bar I knew I'd find him in and tipped my hat to the immortal under the name Death (no not the eye patch wearing one. this one just called himself that) I ordered chocolate milk then got down to business.

This was the first time I let anyone from the group see me as the Monster Hunter I was. That part of my life I kept almost separate from the group up until that point. And it just so happened to be with Killer. (she was somewhere there because she had to show me where to be)

Of course at this point my search was no longer as secretive. I slowly let her into the culture of Monster Hunting. I was actually able to show off my knowledge of the subject! At one point I decided to hire her as a helper. Let her read the manuals and all the books on monsters I had.

And eventually we grew closer. To the point where we're even more than partners at this point. A close bond and friendship to the point we'd go anywhere together! We've had many adventures and plan to have many more.

So this Log was meant for all you out there who aspire to know more about Monster Hunting and also so we can keep track of our times together.


There's always more to come! See ya later, you other weirdos!

How To Run Into Walls

Adventure Log 222016
Hunter: Ryder Eclipse

So, us monster hunters have an archenemy. His name is Brickson. He's rather evil. He forces all the nice little monsters to be his minions and doesn't give them the love that they need. We've captured him in the past but of course he escaped and is on the loose again.


Two of my fictional characters found him recently. Ghosty and his son Aaron. They're both very adorable characters. Ghosty is a kick butt nerd and Aaron is a kitty cat boy. Well they met Brickson and Aaron hugged the giant penguin (because obviously that's what you do any time you meet an evil villain) and Brickson flew away with Aaron.

"Did our archenemy just kidnap my character?" I asked my partner, Adrianna. We had been watching from behind a plant and gathering information. We didn't just capture Brickson right then and there because reasons.

"Yeah I think so. What should we do?" Adrianna said.

"Didn't you put a tracker on kitty boy?" I said.

"Oh yes. That's right," Adrianna pulled out mini fold-able jetpacks and handed one to me.

I put it on and took off after Brickson. I probably could've caught up to them rather quickly but a pole decided that it needed to meet me. I smacked into the pole.

Adrianna tried her very best not to laugh as she helped me to my feet and we took off once again.

"Uh, are we going to leave the one guy who can fight behind?" I glanced down at Ghosty, who was glaring up at us from the ground.

"Nope!" Adrianna said.

Buffer, our little robot friend, was giving Ghosty a jetpack.

Ghosty flew beside us, muttering to himself about his son being with a giant evil penguin and how he was a terrible father for not stopping Brickson and other stuff like that. Adrianna reassured him that Aaron and everyone will be safe and I cured his trigger finger by letting him shoot Target signs as we flew over them. Although he shot the cars in the parking lots instead. I hope those people have good insurance.

A random flying bunny appeared.

"Oh look a random flying bunny!"

"Ah!" Adrianna cuddled it before it flew away.

We continued flying and tried our best not to be distracted by more randomly appearing flying rabbits.

"Are almost there?" Ghosty whined.

"Yep!" I pointed to the giant invisible castle.

They both looked in that direction with rather confused expressions since they obviously couldn't see the invisible castle. Only people with glasses can see invisible castles. I have glasses so I can see it.

We land on the invisible castle and I give my partner my spare pair of glasses so she can see the castle as well. I sadly didn't have two spare pairs of glasses so Ghosty couldn't see the castle. Which made things rather entertaining because he often found walls with his face.

Adrianna tried her best to keep him from running into things. "I'll make sure you don't break your nose brother. Oh speaking of brothers why isn't yours here Killer? He could help. And seeing him fall over stuff would be hilarious. Then Ghosty wouldn't be the only one glaring at things" (We're kind of related to our characters)

"Did you bring the Seth summoner?" I asked. Seth is her main character and my adopted brother.

Seth, a white haired emo weirdo, appears. He looked around and realized he was standing on an invisible thing and jumps and runs into another invisible thing.

I laughed at him.

Seth probably glares at me since that's something he'd do.

"Yay another person to feel my pain," Ghosty said. "We're here to die and be laughed at."

"Huh great," Seth sighed and waves at us.

I waved back. "We're looking for a giant penguin and a kitty cat boy."

Seth facepalmed.

"We areeeee. And we're in an invisible castle!" I grinned.

"You're all insane," Seth said. "Okay, now how do I maneuver this place?"

"Three steps to the right and one step forwards," I told him. Those happen to be the exact directions to a nice trap.

"I don't trust you," Seth said.

"I'm very trustable. Right father?" I turned to my partner.

"Uhhh..... exactly!" Adrianna said.

"Father? What's wrong with you people?!" Seth said.

"A lot of things," I nodded. "But let's go! Allons-y!"

We continue onward. Despite being able to see the walls I somehow managed to still run into things like walls. Seth laughed at me. How rude of him. We kept on adventuring through the castle, avoiding traps and laughing at Seth and Ghosty when they ran into things.

Ghosty managed to wander into a secret room and got himself attacked by sentient attack marshmallows.

We all laughed at him.

Ghosty shouted for help but it was muffled by the marshmallows which were suffocating him.

"Roast 'em Ghosty! Roast 'em!" Adrianna shouted.

Ghosty remembered he had fire powers and killed all the attack marshmallows with his awesome fire powers. When he came out of the room he was covered in the sticky guts of dead marshmallows.

We laughed at him some more.

"If we had some graham crackers and chocolate we could make Ghosty s'mores!" I chuckled.

"Don't you all have some sort of quest or something?" Seth said.

"Oh right. We get distracted easily," Adrianna said.

"Oooooh. Pizza!" I wander off and run into another pole.

Seth sighed.

We continued on with our quest. At one point Ghosty got annoyed and nearly burned the entire place down but we managed to calm him down. I also somehow managed to get a segway at some point but I'm not sure how that happened. And we left Seth in some random room as well. We eventually found Brickson and Aaron though.

"Hullo!" I waved at our archenemy. "We're here for the kitty boy and all the monsters."

All the furniture in the room turned into monsters and attacked us.

Adrianna fought them off with a non lethal paralyzing sword while I tripped over stuff a lot.

I dropped my bag of sunflower seeds that I apparently had and the monsters started eating those rather than trying to eat us.

A purple fog suddenly filled the room. I found it quite strange despite the fact that we had just been fighting sunflower eating furniture monsters. Colourful fog is weird. Sunflower eating tables aren't.
Once the fog had cleared all the monsters and Brickson were gone. Aaron sat in the middle of the room.

Ghosty walked over and hugged his son.

"Where's Brickson?" Adrianna looked around.

"Arkansas," I said because that's obviously the only place someone would ever go.

Adrianna pulled out her bubble portal gun and we all went to Arkansas.


We never did find Brickson in Arkansas but we have a wonderful time at a nice little ice cream shop. Ghosty's girlfriend had shown up and we all just hung out and had a ton of fun. Hopefully we will be able to find and capture Brickson again. But until then I hope you all don't get eaten and keep being awesome. See ya next time humanoids!

The Brickson's Escape

Adventure Log #1232016
Adrianna

Twas a normal a day for us monster hunters. We were but lounging, recalling old adventures when Ryder brought something to my attention. Our old nemesis, one I'd been fighting even before gaining my partner, the dastardly Brickson, had been quiet for some time.


He had caused all sorts of trouble in the past.

His crimes slowly escalated. He was once only an annoyance. Stealing people's left socks, clogging drains, misplacing items. I was after to stop the fiend but he hid well. After a while he found a better way to ruin lives, by using monsters.

He started gathering an army, and that was when I knew I had no choice but to stop him.

Thankfully I found myself a partner in Ryder. She joined me on my quest to find and defeat him.

There was one insane day in which I was being framed for many different crimes (Ryder was a cop at this point if I recall correctly). Anyway, we ended up capturing the fiend. And we were later surprised to find he was actually a giant penguin. We put him in jail and he went quiet for a very long time.


So that day, Ryder brought it up to me that it had been a long time since we heard absolutely anything from him. I, knowing the scheming ways of the Brickson, had a suspicion that maybe he'd found a way to escape.

So we decided to make our way to the magical jail, using a Bubble Portal Gun.
She hopped in first then called back "Is the jail supposed to be in ruins?"

It was then we knew for sure The Brickson had escaped.

Our first place of search was in an ice cream shop. Where we were temporarily distracted by the many ice cream flavors. The ice cream shops on alien planets are very interesting, strange, they have the coolest flavors though like-

Oh wait! Right, back to the story. So, I got mint chocolate chip and Ryder got Root Beer with chocolate dipped cones.

Back to our mission, I called in Buffer, our little Robot friend, to help us in our search.

This is Buffer

He rolled around the ice cream shop. Then started his search, beeping and made his way out the door. We rushed out and followed Buffer down the street, licking our ice cream as we went. Buffer stopped right in front of a giant, dark, mysterious looking castle in the middle of the city.

"You'd think he'd be better at hiding his evil lairs" said Ryder.

"Yeah, this is rather obvious" I replied.

"It's probably a trap."

I nodded then stroked my chin thoughtfully. "What do we do then?"

"We go in there blasting the Put A Banana In Your Ear song and hope it annoys him into surrendering"

"Sounds a good a plan as any!"

My Unicorn partner was great at master plans. And I knew that song was terribly annoying so I thought it might just work. Though really, it was probably to annoy me more than Brickson or his monsters.

So I put in my ear plugs. And we went in with a boombox blasting the song at the top volume. At first, nothing happened. We just stood inside the castle at the foot of a giant staircase, with loud music blaring. Then, little round things started flying out from the walls.

Hedgehogs! Flying hedgehogs! We dodged back and forth as they shot out their deadly spikes. I tried speaking to them, turning off the music and letting them know we were on their side. Ryder gave her ice cream to a hedgehog and made him her friend.

We eventually earned their trust and they lead us up to the top of the stairs and into the study room of who would be Brickson.

We busted through the door, letting Brickson know he was caught this time. But the thing that turned around from the tall backed chair was instead a golden bear!

"You're no Brickson." said I.
 
"No he's a bear." My friend replied.

"What are you doing here?" said the bear.

"We're the monster hunters," Ryder announced. "And we're here to free the monsters, and take back Brickson."

The bear sighed. "I know you you are, Monster Hunters. There's no Brickson here. What do you want?"

"A bacon cheeseburger with extra cheese." Ryder answered him.

I was sure that wasn't what he meant, but I didn't have time to tell that to my friend, because the bear soon got tired of us and pulled a lever releasing the trap door from under us.

"Oh, was he a vegan bear?" asked Ryder as we sat in the dungeon under the castle. "Did my order offend him?"

"Perhaps." I replied.

"I really want a cheeseburger now." mused my friend.

"Oh I can get Buffer to get you one!" I whistled for our robot then got him to go fetch a burger and a smoothie for me. Buffer beeped happily in response and went off to go fulfill our order.

"Oh wait, I guess I could have just asked him to get us out of here." I said, realizing we were still in a dungeon.

"If Buffer found a way out doesn't that mean we could too?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But we should wait for Buffer to get back with your burger first."

She nodded then took out the hedgehog and a deck of cards from her hoodie pocket.

We played Go Fish for the remaining time there, waiting for Buffer. (I was also informed that there is no card number 28, which was very disappointing but that's beside the point)

Buffer later returned and we ate, drank smoothies and played cards for a while longer before heading back to HQ.



Really, though we didn't find Brickson we got a new friend Spiky the hedgehog! And we had plenty of fun. We knew we'd have to continue our search, because everyday Brickson was out there more monsters were being mistreated. But it was one adventure, game, laugh,  monster, and/or new friend at a time.

This is the Introduction Post That's Written By The Hatter

Greetings Universe! This is the Hatter here. One half of the infamous duo which this blog thing is about. I guess this is to establish to you who exactly I am. So let me tell you a little bit about myself.

I am known by many names just like my partner. Though to keep it simple we'll stick with Missy Hatter. (Which is my full title)

My hobbies include: Making fictional worlds, finding creative ways to procrastinate, studying the art of monster hunting and monsters of all kinds, inventing interesting weapons and gadgets to use on our adventures, and rambling things into existence.

(Oh and that picture would be me)

I travel with my son, (Uh yeah, Ryder. She's not like... Um yeah it's complicated.) around the universe to hunt and rescue monsters!

Don't worry if you can't keep up with anything going on, that's part of the experience. We're not even sure most of the time.

Glad to have you along for the ride! See you all next time All ye Novice Monster Hunters!

This is the Introduction Post That's Written by Ryder

this is me

Hullo humanoids and non humanoids! I am Ryder and I'm a unicorn with a killing habit a pet bunny. This is the post where I do introduction stuff. Or at least I'm pretty sure that's what I'm supposed to do.

As you can see from the picture I am a demonic unicorn. I happen to also have shapeshifting powers so I can be anything if I want but most of the time I'm a demonic unicorn. Because demon unicorns are cool. I work as a hunter with my little padawan, Adrianna. We hunt and cuddle monsters. We're very professional. The most professional-y professional monster hunters that ever professioned (I have no idea what that means I just made it up).

So I'll be writing about some of our adventures as father and son (yes we are both female. it's complicated). So stick around if you want to hear the awesomely amazing adventures of the monster hunters! If you don't read about our adventures I will find you and I will kill you and I will do nothing because you don't have to read this blog if you don't want to.